Beauty and the J…

You must have noticed the reduced frequency of posting on this blog. What to do, I stay at home mostly these days, so not much to really write about. But after almost two months, I am spending this entire week in the hostel. And already I have had a fair amount of drama….empty wallets….spilling ice-creams….chattering girls….and the super-nerd me.

So, me and V decided to meet after like almost eight months…not almost….but exactly eight months. Last time we met on 16th June. Now, we aren’t the bestest of friends but we do get along nicely. We had an okayish time but later I found out that her friends didn’t like my hair-do. Seriously, they blame me for that? They should try living in a hostel for sometime. For four years I used to buy a new bucket at the beginning of every semester. And every time, within three days, it was nowhere to be found. My toothpaste spends more time in Tommy’s room than mine, his shaving cream is generally found with Sahil, Sahil’s comb is perennially in Gurtej’s room. Hey, wait a second, what does Guru do with a comb, he doesn’t have any hair….or does he? Never seen them, must be hidden somewhere. Anyway, the point is that bathing in hostel requires atleast three days of planning, collecting soap, bucket, mug, shampoo etc etc from different rooms. And then on the D-day, you realize that the hair-oil is in Deva’s room who has gone home for two days. Plan cancelled! Maybe God doesn’t want me to bathe. So, really we shouldn’t be blamed for our shabby appearance. It’s a divine conspiracy. (Btw, I have stopped buying a bucket now, and believe me, now I have a bucket (Sahil’s) almost everyday in my room :P)

Anyway, let me not digress. We fixed our meeting for Tuesday morning and I meticulously worked all through Monday to arrange things for the Tuesday Shower. I messaged her around 10 am to confirm if she was coming (otherwise why waste water?) and took a shower. Now, while I was bathing, Sahil went to the institute without leaving back the keys to his treasure (oil, cream, deo, comb etc etc) and I had to knock every room on the floor to get some hair oil and cold-cream. Still, I made it to Barista in time.It was great to meet her after such a long gap and more so cuz I am going through a rather rough patch these days and it’s nice to have friends by your side. She chose Dark Temptations and whined about all the calories (almost all the girls I know do that…..they always always order high calorie stuff and at the same time complain how they will put up so many calories cuz of it…and would need to burn some on the treadmill after going home…Sometimes it makes me feel guilty that they are eating it cuz I wanted to meet them…..tell ya, girls are pure evil) while I ordered my usual Caramel latte`.

Before I tell you the remaining part of the story, let me clarify some things. I travel mostly by bus and as such don’t carry too much cash in my wallet. I had gone to eat out on Monday and had to shell out ten bucks as nobody else had change (Shit man, why do I always have change), I tried withdrawing cash from 4 ATMs but due to some problem with SBI server, none of them worked.

So, at Barista, unlike CCD you pay first as they have no faith in you( Talking of faith, the other day we ordered a pizza from Dominos and that guy said that the 30 minute delivery scheme (in which you get your pizza free if you don’t get it in 30 mins.) is not valid for IITD. Turns out some students would order a pizza and despite repeated calls from the hostel reception, not go out to pick their pizza. And when the thirty minutes were over, FREE PIZZA! Tell ya, we IITians are pure geniuses. :P). Ofcourse, being all chivalrous and crap, I offered to place the order and pick the tab.

That would be Two Sixty Nine, sir.

Ohk. Do you take SBI Debit Card?

Yes, sure sir.

Here you go.

Oh, sorry sir, it didn’t work. Can you please enter your PIN again.

Yea, sure.

No luck again.

So, I took out my wallet, one hundred, two hundred, fifty, sixty….sixty….sixty… No more cash.

Just a second, let me check again.

I looked back at her and gave a dummy smile. She was busy reading the newspaper. Thank God.

Sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-three……..I turned my wallet upside down…..yay! another coin….just a onner….sixty-four.

Here you go. These are five bucks short.

What do you mean five bucks short? How dare you even come in and sit in this swanky Barista? This is not a dharamshaala. Get the f*** out of here before I give you a nice spanking. Bloody IITians…

She heard the commotion and walked over to me to see what it was all about. Tears in my eyes, I said, “paanch rupaye hain?” And I was just telling her that I get 8000 bucks as scholarship every month

She tossed a five rupee coin in my face and blasted out of there.

And all I could think was, Huh, faaltu me nahaaya.

Ok, nothing like that happened. The waiter was convinced that it was a genuine mistake.

Never mind sir. We will adjust it next time.

The rest of the afternoon went pretty event-less except me spilling ice-cream all over my sweater thrice. But then somehow I always do that. I finished my coffee and asked if she wanted to have something else. My heart pounded like anything as she reconsidered the menu once again. I was almost on the verge of a heart-attack when she finally said, “No.” I don’t think any guy would ever have been as happy as I was on hearing a No from a girl. Lol.

I know she will read this but I just pray to God that her friends don’t.


In other news, SPIC MACAY’s annual fest Virasat is going on these days. Now, I amn’t much into all that classical stuff but I do enjoy it once in a while. So, last weekend I went for the dance show by performers from the North-eastern states (awesome dancers….simply mesmerizing), followed by the legendary Pt. Hariprasad Chaurasia ji on Monday and Ustad Rehmat Ali Khan Langa’s Rajasthani folk music concert last evening. We were seated in the sixth row and two very cute girls were seated next to us. The concert started with an enthralling performance by the group…..the audience clapped….next song….Kesariya Balaam….the audience applauded again…..Ustad ji started……the girls thought it was a cue from them as well…so they too started…talking in the loudest possible manner….clapping each other’s hands….laughing….Now as I appealed last night on FB,

All you beautiful girls out there, yes, we guys hang on every single word you say….but please when we go to a music concert, we would rather like to hear the performers and not your kachar pachar…kachar pachar…..

So, I took out my mobile and opened the message folder. In the ‘To’ field, I wrote The cute but noisy girls seated next to us….and in the text field I added, “Please, can you keep your voice a little down”. I waited for two-three minutes for them to shut up but when they didn’t I showed the message to the one seated right next to me. She read it, immediately hushed up and looked at me. I pretended as if I was too engrossed in the musical brilliance of the Langas. They left the hall after the song ended. Huh! And I was thinking like the movies, she will write a message on her mobile saying Sorry…and then I will say It’s Okay….blah blah blah….meethi takraar ke saath pyaar ki shuruaat……Whatever.

Anyway, Life is like that. One day, you laugh on the world and on the other, the joke is on you. Keep smiling.


2 responses to “Beauty and the J…

  1. poor you………i laughed for almost 5 minutes…..mera khoon bad gaya……oh shit now i’ll be fat….calories nahin toh ur blog (lol)…….well i want to sympathise with u also……..still laughing

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