J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season-II

Well, continuing the tradition, here is the most sought after advice from your friend, philosopher, guide, mentor, role model and ideal J. Now, quite a few people have labelled me a narcissist for bragging so much about myself. But its not my fault if I am so perfect. So, those people can go to some temple and register their complaints with the God. She/He is your culprit, not me. You know what God said after she/he created me? “O tere ki! mazaak mazaak me masterpiece ban gaya….” Lol! So, you get the hint, I am in a very crappy mood today. Read what follows at your own peril.

  1. The ZooZoo Lessons: So, while you lesser mortals are all going gaga over the new zoozoo ads, yours truly has been employing his unparalleled mental faculties (for the benefit of his dumb followers, ah, the selfless me!) to understand the real essence of these advertisements. So, don’t just sit going all awwwwww over the egg headed creatures but make use of the following hidden ideas in the ads.
    • Days can be pretty long and boring in summers. And add to it the torture that your younger bro (or sis) has a two months vacations with nothing better to do than bugging you all day long. So, if you are irritated with his constantly fiddling with your mobile (poor you, have to delete all your messages even before reading them completely…..I sympathize with you), poking into your orkut profile, sitting on your head while you invest your time on Gtalk and other creative pursuits like “How kinky are you” quizzes on Facebook, and no longer want to see his face, well here is a solution. Buy a zoozoo dress and make him wear it. You will actually like him for a change. Waise bhi the resemblance will be quite high. After all he also speaks gibberish all day long just like the zoozoos. 🙂
    • So, now you have another ice-breaker on the first date. Just when you have nothing left to talk about after the initial pleasantries, just say, “Do you like Zoozoos? I love them”. Guys, I am telling you, this is safer than saying, “Do you like chocolates?” to a girl. 😀
    • Oh, and obviously the most important use, now when you people go to some mall just to check out some “stuff”, you have something new to draw comparisons with. “See that girl there, looks so horrible like the zoozoo in the beauty tips ad” or “Hey, look at that guy over there, doesn’t he look like the fat zoozoo with the rotund tummy”. Well, come to think of it, Kareena Kapoor with her zero size figure will make a nice zoozoo…..with her equally harsh voice, its gonna be a perfect match. 😛

  2. Support Kolkata Knight Riders: Sounds stupid, right? But it will be a lesson to all those people who send us “Don’t worry. Nothing is impossible. Impossible itself reads I M Possible. Best of Luck” type of messages before our exams. Left may support BJP after the elections but KKR….ha..haha..
  3. Go for a movie: With no new releases, the halls are almost empty and the AirConditioners are damn effective.
  4. WAIT FOR MY NEXT POST. Need I say that. I know you will be waiting with bated breaths.


4 responses to “J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season-II

  1. U shd alwaz mention ur “sources”.. cz i kno d “inspiration” from where ur zoozoo lessons n d funda of supporting knight riders came from.. 😉

  2. Pingback: J’s Indispensable advice for the season III | Impressions

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