V messaged me early this morning (11:30 am) asking why I think IPL is more important than the Great Indian quinequinennium tamasha called the General Elections. Me, obviously asleep replied with the same old comment: Elections divide, Cricket unite….
Later in the day, I gave it a little more thought and here are some more reasons why IPL is much much more important than the elections:
- The mainstay of the IPL, as we all know is not cricket but cheerleaders giving the ‘deprived’ Indian men something to cheer about in times of economic recession; providing Bajrang Dals and Sri Ram Senas something to make a fuss about in times of ideological recession (with February gone, they don’t have much to do for the rest of the year); and most importantly giving me a weird kind of pleasure as I sense my Dad feeling a little uncomfy everytime a cheerleader from the Mallya camp tries to take it to the next level. With SRK and Dada selecting the cheerleaders through a reality show this year, I am really looking forward to it, after all, ain’t nobody like my desi girl.
- While IPL boasts of relatively young actresses like Priety Zinta and Shilpa Shetty, we have to be content with the likes of Hema Malini and Jaya Prada in the elections, though I am told that Nagma is contesting this time. And seriously tell me who would prefer to see BehenJi with her anti-Manuwadi rhetoric over the entourage of SRK dancing in the stands.
- New Prime Minister, new cabinet, why burden the already over-burdened students with more names to mug up.
- Agreed that we have to pay to watch the IPL matches while we might get paid to vote, but there is a popular saying, “mehenga roye ek baar, sasta roye baar baar.” So, while the IPL, good or bad, will be over in a month and a half, the actual pain in the a$$ due to the elections will start right after that and continue for 5 years.
True to the spirit of Indian democracy and taking a cue from our politicians, let me become a turncoat/chameleon and explain why those favouring IPL over elections are short-sighted and why elections are the most important thing in the present day context:
- IPL may have the glitz and glamour but nothing even comes close to the humor quotient of the Indian ‘chunaav’. Get ready for a dose of ultimate stand up comedy by our politicos, ‘netas’ dozing off while waiting for their turn to speak, the Umas and Jayas falling off the podiums, parties taking pot-shots at each other, calling each other names like small kids, the Mamtas and Vasundharas involved in cat-fights, the 24X7 media coverage driving you crazy, the predictions, the ‘saanth-gaanth’ (coalitions), ‘jugaads’, the opinion polls…….it’s gonna be one hell of a month.
- While IPL might give you an inferiority complex, what with all the money these players make, elections will give you a much needed ego boost with the candidates literally begging for your vote. And think of all those people who will get something to eat, even if for a day, when these politicos distribute anaaj and money in their rallies.
- Most importantly, my Dad will call me five times in a day and send the driver to pick me up from hostel just to make sure that I cast my vote (to which party, he’ll never know).
So, I guess an ideal solution to the current situation would be to hold election speeches during the innings change of the IPL matches. With cheerleaders already present there, a lot of money which these politicians give to the ‘bhaade ke log’ they bring along with them to clap would be saved. And, these cheerleaders don’t even understand anything, so even Sonia Gandhi can give a speech. No security problems, nothing. Issue resolved!!! Period.