The following is based on my own inane observations and conclusions, check them for yourselves this Valentine.
1.Fevicol ka Jod or Oh Boy, What a Catch!!!: Try as hard it may, there is absolutely no possibility for any air to pass between you. Her hands playfully move from around your neck to your waist, even a blind man feels the oomph as you breeze past him. She keeps saying this or that every second in your ear….her cheeks….(ok, I’ll stop here, you’ve got the point.) Obviously, you are not wearing helmet, riding like crazy, and laughing even when she as much as says your name. But don’t get too excited, she is just trying to show off what a catch she has made and become the envy of all the girls in the neighborhood. Or even worse, she is trying to make the guy whom she actually likes realize her value. In case, you pick up a fight with someone, she will side with the one having more abs.
2. Try the Guy or “Just” friends: She is not sitting cross-legged, her purse is strategically hanging on her right shoulder to create an artificial wall (in case the moronic you is thinking of “getting the feel” by braking hard), her eyes keep darting here and there, she is over-conscious about her hairdo, every time you try to start a conversation, she gives monosyllabic replies or just a smile (keep an eye on the rear-view mirror). The moment you cross 70 kmph, she starts threatening you, “Slow Down or drop me here”. Well, she is, as the cliche’ goes just a friend or rather just an acquaintance. However, there is a bleak possibility that she is actually interested in you and just trying to judge you. Put on your best manners, drive slowly, don’t break hard, keep talking but don’t look back at her every now and then. Stop at the red lights to talk properly, but do jump a few signals, otherwise you run the risk of being tagged too boring. What a complex life!!! In case of fight, she will stand a little away from the entire scene.
3. The Maternal Uncle’s Son: She is sitting as if on a scooter, there is enough space in between you to accommodate atleast one more person, she hardly replies to anything you say, all the time she is trying to find a non-existent pattern on her jeans, as soon as you enter the colony, she shifts further back in her seat, almost falling down. Well, as one of my friend puts it, definitely “uske maama ka beta hai”. Possibly, the only time you won’t mind wearing a helmet with a girl siting behind you. In case of a fight, she will keep saying, ‘chalo, yahan se chalte hain’.
4. Lets move in or “Just” married: So, her hand is gently placed on your shoulder, even in the noisy Delhi traffic, you converse without any problems, you are driving responsibly avoiding speed breakers and bumps, even when you enter her colony, the hand doesn’t move, except maybe to tickle you in between….Quintessential love-birds. Well, don’t forget to send me an invitation. (Is it just me or have you people also seen some girl peeling off some fruit (orange, when I saw it) and passing it to the guy without any of them as much as batting an eyelid or turning around??). In case of fight, she will totally support you and may as well punch the ‘bitch’ with the other guy.
5. Chinku Pinku te Tinku: Depending upon your sincerity, dedication and hard-work, there are one, two or three kids holding on to you and the girl. Need I say more. In case of fight, well, why pick up a fight….isn’t she enough to quarrel with….
Yeh Shehar Nahi Mehfil Hai!!!!
P.S. The list, ofcourse is not exhaustive. Your observations are most welcome.