Well, I am kind of a big fan of Roadies on MTV and even downloaded a form for the auditions. As it so happened, at around the same time, I was looking for a summer internship in some company. I had to fill a HR form for the company ‘Mithyam’ and as expected from a “true genius” like me, I ended up mixing both the forms.
Roadies: Do you have a girlfriend? (If yes, how many)
Me: No. I absolutely refrain from such things. I am very liberal in my outlook and lifestyle but I consider such things a grave sin and against the rules of nature.
Mithyam: Do you have any past history of alcohol, drug or substance abuse?
Me: Yes, off and on. You know, sometimes for fun, sometimes out of frustration or desperation and sometimes you really fall in love with it.
Roadies: What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Me: Getting admission into IITD.
Mithyam: Which event would you describe as the biggest turning point in your life?
Me: I once went on a late night booze party with a male friend. The next morning we found ourselves in a hotel room, sleeping naked over each other.
Roadies: Recently, there was a gay pride parade in Mumbai. Would you call it progress?
Me: That is the sickest thing I ever heard of. How can they go against the law just for the sake of some self-centred pleasure? Such ‘crooked’ people are a blot on the society. I just hope that seeing their condition, other straight companies take some lesson.
Mithyam: Recently, our anti-company Satyam has been involved in a huge scam. What do you think about it?
Me: I think that definitely is progress. There has been such events in the West as well and it is really inspiring to see that finally Indians are also joining the bandwagon. Its all about doing what you want to do, not giving a f*** about what others think of it.
Roadies: What do you like about Indian culture?
Me: The way it adopts new ideas and concepts, innovates regularly and adapts itself it to the emerging trends before anyone else…..this is what truly makes it INCREDIBLE!!!
Mithyam: Why do you want to join Mithyam?
Me: The utter chaos which lends an enigmatic touch to it. You go from one site to another and suddenly everything changes. The ability to sustain itself as a single entity despite the incoherence of it all makes it a dream destination.
Roadies: Is it ok to lie in an interview to get the job?
Me: Isn’t it obvious? No one would ever select me if I say otherwise.
Mithyam: Though we are named ‘Mithyam’, we consider Honesty Sincerity and Dedication as the three standing pillars of our company. Any comments.
Me: I think its a tough call but frankly speaking I feel there is absolutely no harm in lying a little in an interview to get a job. Honesty, sincerity blah blah is just crap in today’s competitive world.
Roadies: Reality shows are not real. Agree/Disagree? Why?
Me: Yes, these are for real and really inspiring. The skeptics may disagree but these days, this is what the West respects us for and is really important for a developing country like ours.
Mithyam: The GDP growth rate has been unprecedent in the last few years. Do you think such figures are sustainable?
Me: I absolutely feel that they are cooked up, devoid of any reality, just to attract new sponsors. They are merely fooling the people and soon the bubble is going to burst and their era will end.
Roadies: Who is the Prime Minister of Australia?
Me: Rakhi Sawant.
Mithyam: The answer to this question will be used for psychoanalytical tests to evaluate your personality. Which celebrity do you hate the most?
Me: Kevin Rudd
Roadies:What is more important-friendship or success?
Me: Definitely the latter. If you get successful. no one cares about the former.
Mithyam: Last year, we developed exactly the same product as one which already existed in the market under some other name and brand. Our product was a huge success. Would you call it plagiarism or inspired innovation?
Me: I guess the former because the latter would not only be unachieavable but also incomplete without the former.
Roadies: What makes you better than others?
Me: I think it is absolutely wrong to say this. I am someone who likes to give everyone his/her due credit. Just a good college doesnt make me any better than anyone else. I am sure I can’t win any battle on my own, I will have to depend on the other equally and more qualified team members to make a notable contribution.
Mithyam: IITians are generally considered rather egoist and poor team players. What’s your take on this?
Me: I do not believe but I KNOW that I am much much better than any other Tom Dick and Harry. I am super-confident, super-daring, other people don’t even come anywhere near to my personna. I do not need to depend on others to get the work done. There is often talks of groupism, team-formation, well I am such a person who can break any team and I think this will help me a lot.
Those who follow Roadies know that I didn’t get selected for the auditions and as for Mithyam, well the HR manager is still in ICU. lol!!!