J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season

(STATUTORY WARNING: The author takes full responsibility for the contents of this post. Claims for any damage to you, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, physically, and any other “lly” u can come up with (more innovative damages will be suitably rewarded with a personal reading of my other “works” by ur very own deranged J) may be posted as comments on this post)

Well, I started doing a tag….but didn’t quite feel like it…Tags can be boring at times….Eight things u did, eight things u r doing, eight things u wish to do, eight things u rue not doing, eight things u will never do, eight things u wish u had done, eight things u will rather be doing right now (nything but the tag…lol)…..holy crap!!!!

I received a nice sms last evening. Here is what it said…

Life’s short. So follow some rules:

1. Forgive quickly.

2. Love truly.

3. Laugh loudly.

4. Cry secretly.

5. Never miss a chance to make someone happy.

Here’s my take on it….

Life’s short. So what the hell would you gain by following rules…Go completely berserk, enjoy urself!!! Even then if you have this compulsive urge to follow some rules (schools nd colleges do this to us….sumhow we feel this ajeeb sa void if we don’t have any rules/regulations to comply with….As Pink Floyd put it, WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION, WE DON’T NEED NO THOUGHTS CONTROLLED, but we have already been ruined by our education….so let’s face it….nyways thats not my point), here is a list of mine…..

1. Screw one and all around you. We, the youth of the nation, the future of the country, have this moral obligation to uphold the spirit of our constitution which guarantees equality to one and all. As such, we should also see every one (especially gals) with one eye(winking wid the other) and as the messengers of the almighty God share our love with everyone equally.

2. Wear shorts to your offices. Well, I just received the official offer letter for my internship this summer, and it requires me to wear formals (even jeans not allowed) everyday to the work. So, u can understand the motivation behind this one. Btw have u noticed, this gal, Simran a.k.a. Ankita on Roadies, she always wear the same shorts in each of the episode. Cumon gal, sell that Karizma (u don’t know how to ride…roadies…huh!!!), and buy another one…..

3. Create a big ruckus at home every fortnight. Demand lots of stuff, new jeans, new I-Pod, this and that. Keeps your parents off your room, otherwise they are always asking you to clean up the mess. Nothing else.

4. This one is especially for girls. Next time you receive arbit friend requests on ORKUT, accept them, flirt for a while and then tell the guy that u r in a dire need for money, or better still…that u also r a gay guy….but u still love him.

5. Drive like an a-hole (well, some of you already do), honk like maniacs, swear like Pakistani cricketers on field (ever noticed Shahid “bhai”‘s verbosity), if you enter into an argument with someone on road, SLAP him… But yeah, do make sure to get yourself insured before that…..sometimes a slap can cost you 3 crores…

6. If you are feeling like committing suicide, go ahead. I think summers are the best time to do so…. The heat suxxx… And think of hanging by the fan, garmi bhi nahi lagegi. And in case you are feeling a little jittery or are in a dilemma, watch Bidaai, Star Plus 9 pm, Baabul ka Aangan Chhotey Na, Sony, 9:30 pm, Sujata, Sony, 10 pm, Main teri parchhayee hoon, NDTV Imagine, 10:30 pm, you would come to ur decision faster than u urself expected. I am sure you would have a nice time up there. Do mail me ur experiences….

7. WAIT FOR MY NEXT POST. That’s the best advice I can give….

Have a splash this summer…..Njoy urself!!!! And as one of my earlier posts said, “Life is a divine chaos, embrace it. ”

Cheers!!!!

8 responses to “J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season

  1. welcome back!!!
    just luvd it… too good… simply fabulous… evn i feel d same somtimes… so frm nw onwrds lets make it a rule to break all rules… lolz… i m in splits…

  2. holy mother of god!! that was hilarious!!
    that simran chic…. ur talkin about her white shorts right? :p
    i wonder how she manages to keep them so clean though n her baby voice…urg!
    demand stuf…. no duh! that needs no telling… my room is usually clean…. so i did rather say “buy me this or m gonna do somethin stupid vit my guy” ( yup apparently thre r some advantages if ur parents kno abt ur relationships)
    u missed out maayka n saat phere on zee…!
    orkut…. that was some advice

    in short a tag well done *wink*

  3. well.. i tried following ur advice on orkut.. (before commenting obvio!)
    and well…. rotten luck!!
    that guy was gay!!

    hehehe….

    but srsly J.. fun aa gaya…

    u r bak in ur form aftr a long long tym…
    i was thinking ki shayad sanyas lene ka irada hai!now that…. *ahem*

  4. @ askhay
    boring times…..

    @mohua, nishi
    thnx dear…

    @aru
    do sumthng stupid wid ur guy…u r a naughty gal….(*wink*)

    @kriti
    can u please give his profile address to me…[;)]. “now that…ahem”, well u hv gt a point…..

  5. Pingback: J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season-II « Impressions

  6. Pingback: J’s Indispensable advice for the season III | Impressions

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