Of England, Sardars and blah….

Discalimer(s): 1. The author embarks on a ten week trip to the United Kingdom on Monday. As such posts in the coming months may tend to increasingly focus on the same.

2. The author has no intentions, whatsoever, of offending the sentiments of any community, religion, sect or gender. This piece is not a value judgement but just a jot down of his observations and reactions (sometimes highly prejudiced).

Neha Dhupiya once famously said, “In India, only SEX and SRK sell. It appears that India TV finding SRK too expensive, is going on an all-out drive to sell the former. To a certain extent, it’s okay but then it’s as much pain in the a** as watching Mandira Bedi talking about cricket in her “noodle straps”. I don’t get to catch (actually don’t care to) TV that often but the last two or three times I have done so, I’ve somehow managed to end up watching India TV’s breaking news, be it “RAJDHANI EXPRESS MEIN CALL GIRL” or even more scandalizing “PAISE DEKAR SEX KHAREED RAHI HAIN LADKIYAAN”. Come on, gimme a break!!! When will the Indian society grow up to accept the fact that sex is the very essence of life and as such these things are bound to happen. And the more conservative attitude u choose to have abt it, the more incinerating an issue it will become. If someone wants to have sex and both parties concerned are satisfied, no-one should have a problem. I know this amounts to supporting “prostitution” in a muffled tone but then I consider showing someone’s private moments on national TV without her/his consent, also as prostitution. What I further detest is the way these things are shown. the news channels have a 20-sec hardly audible clip of the entire thing and they keep on flashing it back to back continously for five minutes, then take a commercial break and come back again to show us the footage again. And the attitude these news-readers have about the entire stuff makes me feel shit. “dhyaan se dekhiye in ladkiyon ko. yeh dono models hain. Delhi ke ek hotel mein humne inhe jism khareedte range haathon pakda”. I feel like puking. A sincere request to Rajat Sharma, plz plz plz stop torturing us, after all Neha Dhupiya is just an actress not a marketing guru.

Now u may be thinking how the title of this post and whatever crap I have been talking about so far links ( it’s the blah part). Also if I so much loathe these stingy operations, why I watch them? Well I had gone to the British Embassy to collect some documents that those imbeciles have somehow forgotten to return with my VISA. And it was there that I was forced to watch India TV for nearly two hours as those morons wudn’t let me change the channel. Now coming to the topic, there were like around 25 other people waiting with me and I was surprised (not actually) to find out that nearly 17 of them were followers of Guru Gobind Singh. Initially I just saw around 8 Sardar ji’s. I ofcourse had no way of spotting a sardarni as distinct from any other lady. But then when the names were being called out, the count kept increasing with “Manveen Kaur”, “Gurinder Kaur”, “Simranjeet Kaur”, “Sukhpreet Kaur” and synonyms getting up with a forced smile, picking up their wedding albums to show to the officers that now they were married to some British citizen and hence may be accorded a citizenship. I have often discussed with my friends that nearly all Sikh families have atleast one relative in UK/USA, though there were no facts to prove the same. But now I think we were wrong. They have atleast two!!!! And then there was a very British looking young man, his teeth a few inches outside their usual domain, with a very sexy looking Indian girl. Now the thing I don’t understand is why parents just sort of sell off their children just for a little money. Akshay and Aditya (my blog friends) have of late been talking a lot of crap (just as I m) abt Love marriages versus Arranged ones. I perfectly agree that arranged marriages have a better success ratio than love marriages but then I wont like my wifey (and for that matter myself) to feel for the entire life that she/I were traded.  So Akshay, maybe it’s Love marriage for me.
P.S. Please don’t try to catch a running bus. I have been forced to spend the last two days in bed because of the same.

4 responses to “Of England, Sardars and blah….

  1. A random one. And I liked it the way it is! No offence for going into a love marriage in the future and I hope you are OK now!

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