Summers are finally here, which means long, hot days. Life can get pretty boring and so, here I am again with some (as always unsolicited but indispensable) advice for the season.
1. Everywhere I go these days, I see banks….HDFC, PNB, SBI, OBC, HSBC, ING Vysya, DhanLaxmi, Karnataka, ABN AMRO, Amex, Citi, Corp, Canara, Andhra, StanChart, Yes Bank, No Bank, Maybe Bank….the list goes on. Left, right and centre, all I see is banks. As Navjot Singh Siddhu would have put it, they are growing faster than weeds on a rainy day in Cherapunji. Or Coleridge, if you may
Banks Banks Everywhere
Not a penny to save
Anyway, I digress. So, this season, just for pastime, open an account in a bank nearby and deposit some 4-5K. Then, withdraw the amount from your ATM and again deposit it in the bank. Wait for thirteen minutes, again withdraw the money….and, ok I guess you are smart enough to figure out the remaining part. 
I really love the Karnataka Bank’s teller’s smile.
2. Relationships, they say, are made in heaven, posted on Facebook and broken by coming out of closet (I constantly receive emails asking who is the they in all the quotes I post….well, yours truly). So, simply cycle your relationship status on Facebook from Single to Committed to Confused to Civil Union to On_Top to Below and back to Single. Every such change generally gets you 10 odd comments atleast and will help you keep busy this season.
yeh jo muskaan hai mere chehre par, tujhe jalaane ko hai
kar raha hoon hans kar jo usse baat, tujhe sataane ko hai
tu bhool na jaaye kahin humein
yeh weekly status update, tujhe humaari yaad dilaane ko hai
3. Even as I write this, there are some kids shouting out in the streets that India has won the world cup. Blah! What’s this world cup, huh, the real thing is IPL with all the cheerleaders. Don’t blame me, my indifference is justified. I was promised Poonam Pandey (in Ravi Shastri parlance) going full monty but all we got was another PP sitting on a sofa like a housefly on Sharad Pawar’s nose. Could there be a bigger KLPD in cricketing history? So, watch IPL instead and cheer up the cheerleaders (come to think of it, the cheerleaders in IPL have the saddest job, they are the ones who really need the cheer). I have a suggestion for the IPL management. They should make Siddharth Mallya the captain of Royal Challengers Bangalore and the match between RCB and Pune can be telecasted on NDTV Imagine as Deepika Ka Swayamvar.
ki aaj toh jeet ki khushi se pet bhar so jaayenge
kal khaane ko roti kahan se aayegi
jab royega bhookhe pet woh maasoom kal
toh kya maa akhbaar ki surkhiyaan khilaayegi
4. It has been a long time since a good MMS scandal hit the market. The GenNext has really become very lazy these days. Just saying.
5. Ok, I can’t think of anything else but I know if I don’t have five points, I will never post it.
Go to a village, not your native village nor a place where any of your relatives live. A completely random village. Live there for 2-3 days (Don’t carry your I-Phones and blackberries with you. Ok, I know life in a village can be a little tough on you, so you may take your complete set of Justin Bieber CDs with you. Happy!) Let your nerves calm down, relax. Life , they say, is a rat race but it is eventually the tortoise who wins.
With loads of Lust
J
P.S. I love this new theme and updating just so that you all can also have a look at it. I pledge to be equally whimsical in posting in future as well. Oh, one of the search query which lead to my blog recently was “Romantically challenged IITians”, tell ya these search algorithms are getting smarter and smarter. I am mighty worried.
Equally disliked Posts in this series:
J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season-II
J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season
