A cynic’s diary

Saturday, April 9,2011

I know how great it is, a victory of the democracy, of the people, of their resolve, determination, courage, blah blah blah. India’s own Tahrir square. Oh, we even did a candle march, a million candles nationwide maybe, is that some sort of a record? Kailash Kher was fantastic.

We were just waiting for a hero to come and unite us all, it was Dhoni a week ago, this weekend it is the new Gandhi. For all you know, Kalyug is over, Kalki is finally here.

How can you say that, it is our country he is doing this for…..if you can’t do anything, at least don’t spread negativity….we the youth of the nation have a responsibility……..

Yes, Anna’s cause was a worthy one without doubt. Yes, he has once again demonstrated the power of Gandhian methods. Yes, he has shown what the public can achieve by active participation in the democratic process. But questions remain.

Corruption is not something that we Indians were/are unaware of. It is, so as to say, ingrained in us…..runs in our blood….like an inheritance, father to son. I myself never appeared for the driving license test, just paid 500 to an agent and got my license at home in 7 days…..3000 for the passport…..brokered a deal for 80K for my niece’s admission in a public school. How many of us have paid 50% of the challan money to a traffic police inspector when fined for some offense? How many of us were ready to pay 10K for a 250 rupees ticket for the Indo-Pak WC semifinal match? The media made it a point to showcase the various Bollywood stars marching for a cause. But are they themselves blamefree? IT raids at Priyanka and Katrina’s homes in the recent past makes me believe otherwise. The corporate bigshots were also duly interviewed expressing their firm support to the people’s movement while Anil Ambani was busy in another interview with Public Accounts Committee (PAC).

मोमबत्तियां जला लो चाहे जितनी
अँधेरा यूँ ही कायम रहेगा
दिलों में कालिख है जब तलक
भ्रष्टाचार यूँ ही फैला रहेगा

We must understand that to weed out corruption, like any other disease, we must start at the grass-root level. Chetan Bhagat in his own renowned (read idiotic) manner said, “Mera Neta Chor Hai”…..but he and we all must accept that “us neta ki junta bhi chor hai”. No doubt that the likes of Lalit Bhanot, Suresh Kalmadi minted money in the CWG scam, but some companies must have paid them the money. And who runs those companies? People like you and me, our parents, our neighbors.

Do you promise that you won’t pay that donation money to get your child an admission? Do you promise that you won’t give a tenner to the peon to put your file on top? Do you promise….well, you may but someone else might not.

In India, population is the biggest facility.

Good Night

P.S. Barkha Dutt’s tweet sums it up for me: Remember the anti-politician rage post 26/11 & then the low voter turnouts? This time changing the system must include taking part in it.

J’s Indispensable advice for the season III

Summers are finally here, which means long, hot days. Life can get pretty boring and so, here I am again with some (as always unsolicited but indispensable) advice for the season.

1. Everywhere I go these days, I see banks….HDFC, PNB, SBI, OBC, HSBC, ING Vysya, DhanLaxmi, Karnataka, ABN AMRO, Amex, Citi, Corp, Canara, Andhra, StanChart, Yes Bank, No Bank, Maybe Bank….the list goes on. Left, right and centre, all I see is banks. As Navjot Singh Siddhu would have put it, they are growing faster than weeds on a rainy day in Cherapunji. Or Coleridge, if you may

Banks Banks Everywhere

Not a penny to save

Anyway, I digress. So, this season, just for pastime, open an account in a bank nearby and deposit some 4-5K. Then, withdraw the amount from your ATM and again deposit it in the bank. Wait for thirteen minutes, again withdraw the money….and, ok I guess you are smart enough to figure out the remaining part. :P

I really love the Karnataka Bank’s teller’s smile.

2. Relationships, they say, are made in heaven, posted on Facebook and broken by coming out of closet (I constantly receive emails asking who is the they in all the quotes I post….well, yours truly). So, simply cycle your relationship status on Facebook from Single to Committed to Confused to Civil Union to On_Top to Below and back to Single. Every such change generally gets you 10 odd comments atleast and will help you keep busy this season.

yeh jo muskaan hai mere chehre par, tujhe jalaane ko hai

kar raha hoon hans kar jo usse baat, tujhe sataane ko hai

tu bhool na jaaye kahin humein

yeh weekly status update, tujhe humaari yaad dilaane ko hai

 

3. Even as I write this, there are some kids shouting out in the streets that India has won the world cup. Blah! What’s this world cup, huh, the real thing is IPL with all the cheerleaders. Don’t blame me, my indifference is justified. I was promised Poonam Pandey (in Ravi Shastri parlance) going full monty but all we got was another PP sitting on a sofa like a housefly on Sharad Pawar’s nose. Could there be a bigger KLPD in cricketing history? So, watch IPL instead and cheer up the cheerleaders (come to think of it, the cheerleaders in IPL have the saddest job, they are the ones who really need the cheer). I have a suggestion for the IPL management. They should make Siddharth Mallya the captain of Royal Challengers Bangalore and the match between RCB and Pune can be telecasted on NDTV Imagine as Deepika Ka Swayamvar.

ki aaj toh jeet ki khushi se pet bhar so jaayenge

kal khaane ko roti kahan se aayegi

jab royega bhookhe pet woh maasoom kal

toh kya maa akhbaar ki surkhiyaan khilaayegi

4. It has been a long time since a good MMS scandal hit the market. The GenNext has really become very lazy these days. Just saying.

5. Ok, I can’t think of anything else but I know if I don’t have five points, I will never post it.

Go to a village, not your native village nor a place where any of your relatives live. A completely random village. Live there for 2-3 days (Don’t carry your I-Phones and blackberries with you. Ok, I know life in a village can be a little tough on you, so you may take your complete set of Justin Bieber CDs with you. Happy!) Let your nerves calm down, relax. Life , they say, is a rat race but it is eventually the tortoise who wins.

With loads of Lust

J

P.S. I love this new theme and updating just so that you all can also have a look at it. :P I pledge to be equally whimsical in posting in future as well. Oh, one of the search query which lead to my blog recently was “Romantically challenged IITians”, tell ya these search algorithms are getting smarter and smarter. :P I am mighty worried.

Equally disliked Posts in this series:

J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season-II

J’s Indispensable Advice for the Season

I sometimes wonder who updates the wiki pages within minutes of Inda winning matches…….