How To Buy Condoms…

We all know (atleast the guys do) how embarrassing it can get while trying to buy condoms for the first time, especially in Indian context. Think of going to your local chemist and asking him for a packet of ManForce. Some people call it “chhatri”, others “topi”, but everyone is so damn shy.

Here are a few tips how to go about it.

1. Tell the shopkeeper that you are conducting a survey as a NACO volunteer and need to know what all brands of condoms are easily available in the market, their prices and most importantly, as a part of the “study”, you have to test their efficacy.

2. Take a sheet of paper, write down some 4-5 medicines on it along with condoms and start with, “uncle, papa ne kuchh dawaayiaan mangwaayi hai….”. Just make sure that you don’t put medicines for joints pain, piles or diarrhea on the list, though Viagra is safe.

3. Buy a Lava mobile. I know it’s a touch expensive way but it has the additional benefit that you might also get a girl to use it with.

4. Point out some random guy in the market and innocently say, “Bhaiyya, woh uncle ek packet Durex mangwa rahe hain….khaansi bahut ho rahi hai unhe”

5. And the easiest way ever. Go to the shop with a sheepish smile (should be easy if you are actually getting laid for the first time) and just stand there. They know the type by now.

Or be a man and Haq Se Maango!

How did you buy your first?

P.S. I first bought condoms when I was in eleventh (though I didn’t use them) from a shop 2 kms away from my home.